Wednesday 28 March 2007

hmm..haiz

gaduh lagi dgn dia smlm...smp dia off hp..haha...suka nya...aku kalau kene marah dgn dia tk pernah buat gitu seh...sakit jiwa jap smlm siang...haha...nasib baik aku tau cari dia...kalau aku diamkn diri jgk..tkke prb tu...hehe...Alhamdulillah things hav been better...pandai2 lar jaga diri kan..hehe..cian si fezah tu...nenek dia tu...mcm2 ah...cian kakak aku tu..hehe...boring...penat...ngantok giler ni seh...haha...

Monday 26 March 2007

Declining

it seems she's making me feel more hurt...deleting our pic even...tx eh...tx fer evrytg...it seems lyk d lies are beginnning to be spider webs...ahhhh...yesterday went to watch movie with fezah, tasha n rezal...tu pon dia jeles...mepek kan...fezah pon naik darah dgn dia...padahal aku dgn fezah..smp our parents pon tau kita rapat seh...evn her siblings tau seh...tasha pon sort seh mcm aku jgk..haha...rezal...b kewl aite...we stay tite together..now she's telling me her net went off n cldnt put our pic..y delete in the 1st place...haizzz

Thursday 22 March 2007

y muz it b me

Ana...u were hurt by wat u heard...n now..after saying all tt..aint u hurting me too...told me to call u up..yet no answers at all...wat do u think i am...a combustion of feelings?

Wednesday 21 March 2007

Hmm

i duno wats wrong..i tot we broke up..but she still msgs n call me up...saying she wans me to wait fer her...AAAAAAAARGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It's Not Over!!!

What Hurts the Most

(yeah...a song by Rascal Flatts...singing in ma heart...blah)

I can take the rain
On the roof of this empty house
That don’t bother me
I can take a few tears now and then
And I just let ‘em out
I’m not afraid to cry every once in a while
Even though goin’ on with you gone still upsets me
There are days every now and again
I pretend I’m okay
But that’s not what gets me

Chorus
What hurts the most
Was being so close
And havin’ so much to say
And watchin’ you walk away
And never knowin’
What could’ve been
And not seein’ that lovin’ you
Is what I was tryin’ to do

It’s hard to deal with the pain
Of losin’ you everywhere I go
But I’m doin’ itIt’s hard to force that smile
When I see our old friends and I’m alone
Still harder gettin’ up, gettin’ dressed, livin’ with this regret
But I know if I could do it overI would trade, give away
All the words that I saved in my heart
That I left unspoken

Not seein’ that lovin’ you
That’s what I was trying to do
Oooo, Oooo, Oooo –

Compassions

yeah...we broke up yesterday morning..citing reasons such as not wanting to hurt me further...not wanting to break any more promises...so...wher was ur promise of not gona ask fer a break up? now u wan me to stay faithful and wait fer u...i will...no matter wat others say...i leave the rest to God

Monday 19 March 2007

The Truth

her parents do not wan us to be attached....sad kan...juz bcos she's doing part time studies..i intend to stay faithful to her...juz waiting fer her answer...the wait is killing me seh...but wat to do...each challenge by God has rewards...its like finding the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow...It's Not Over!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My Writes

Life is a waterfall
We keep on flowing
Reached the edge and fall
Pride taken, I'm fumbling

Crumbling as i crash
Not knowing what's next
Memories rushed in a flash
My life written in text

Where am i Dear Lord?
What's this place i'm in?
Who's that love my God?
I've never seen this scene

Why did the Gates closed?
What's this sinking feeling?
My deeds i never boast
Humility i still succumb in

Lord numero uno
My destiny seems dark
She's on the go?
Along with my luck?

Hurt is my company
As i ride along the line
Things seem so corny
Where's the love that binds?

Being alive is a mistake?
Drops of soul dripping away
Why love's just half-baked?
Reminiscent times play

Now she really leaves
Pray for her i will
Cos when she sees the clift
She knows our love is sealed

It's Not Over

(Okay...the 1st of many to come...not my own writing peeps...but it sure fits the bill...It's Not Over by DAUGHTRY)



I was blown away.
What could I say?
It all seemed to make sense.
You've taken away everything,
And I can't deal with that.
I try to see the good in life,
But good things in life are hard to find.
I’ll blow it away, blow it away.
Can we make this something good?
Well, I'll try to do it right this time around.

Let's start over.
I'll try to do it right this time around.
It's not over.
’Cause a part of me is dead and in the ground.
This love is killing me,
But you're the only one.
It's not over.

I've taken all I can take,
And I cannot wait.
We're wasting too much time
Being strong and holding on.
Can't let it bring us down.
My life with you means everything,
So I won't give up that easily.
I’ll blow it away, blow it away.
Can we make this something good?
'Cause it's all misunderstood.
Well, I'll try to do it right this time around.

Let's start over.
I'll try to do it right this time around.
It's not over.
’Cause a part of me is dead and in the ground.
This love is killing me,
But you're the only one.
It's not over.

We can't let this get away.
Let it out, let it out.
Don't get caught up in yourself.
Let it out.

Let's start over.
I'll try to do it right this time around.
It's not over.
’Cause a part of me is dead and in the ground.
This love is killing me,
But you're the only one.
It's not over.

Let’s start over.
It's not over, yeah...
This love is killing me,
But you're the only one.
It's not over.

Was she?

Hei diggers...
met her in the morning...she cried...only told me her mum wanted me to be deleted from her blog...but y sei...when the stories bout her & wan....khai...nizam...farhan...and many others are still on her blog...was she telling the truth....or was she lying? sum1 used to tell me...ladies use tears and parents as their shield for their lies...if she reali did lie to me...doesnt she noe how much it hurts? i tot she oredi knew d meaning of hurt when she was hurt by others in d past...so y do it to me now...y do women use a lie to cover another lie...y so...she wans her dream guy whom she cant b with...so why still stay with me...what am i? a part time lover? highway? why must she insist on calling us by the names which we oredi agreed b4 not to use...seriously...i'm getting very2 sick....whenever i have too much prbs..i get sick...oredi peeps at werk aint got no liking fer me...Lord...i reali need an istikharah...so much fer all the promises...so much fer the phrase 'no secretes between us'...sum1 told me b4...if we luv tt particular sum1 deeply...we will noe by God's Grace whether that person is lying or telling the truth...should i 4giv all the liars that i'v been with b4? shld i then forgive them wholeheartedly?

i noe i shld...Dear Lord...pls shed sum Light on them...i pray that 1 day they'll end up as wonderful ladies and have wonderful families...dun let wat has happened to me ever happen to them...

Sunday 18 March 2007

Dear Lord

Dear Lord,
i guess i've sinned enuf & i'm now getting the repercussions....
she met sum1 whom she seems so excited about last nite at big mac...she didnt evn telll me she went there......

then today she said..
'In Life we can't get everything in our life....i knew it n i realise it!We saw things that nice....we wanted to buy....when we saw our dream guys....we wanted to be with them,just that we dunno that person like us or not.Argh!!Sometimes it hurts....what to do??No one can help.Love is blind....When we noe that what we goin to do is wrong but still we wanted to do...thats the prob part.Life.....'

she deleted all the lovey dovey parts from her blog that included me...gez i'm not worth anytg to her...y lie...y all d hurt hate n revenge on me...y are all of them doin dis to me...

behold the truth...i wrote The Candle juz as i did The Candlestick...same plot diff character..whoa it scalds me badly Dear Lord..to frenz...sistaez n clownz..do appreciate wat we hav...coz sumtimes we only realise the gems when they r gone...muacksss

The Candle

Destiny & Fate – Sometimes we laugh sometimes we mourn
We tend to appreciate things only when they’re gone
I melt myself away just to be a beacon to your life
The wind did make you think if I’d burn you, didn’t it strive?

What's Happening!!!
What's Happening!!!
What's Happening!!!
What's Happening!!!

So, deep in your heart you prayed he’ll blow my friend
Your wish was his command and off my fire went
The darkness forces fear to creep deep into your mind
Was I ever that everything that u needed? Aren’t you kind?

What's Happening!!!
What's Happening!!!
What's Happening!!!
What's Happening!!!

I had to seek solace from my dearest fire starters
Slowly u begin to realize how much the frostbites has gotten you into tatters
You tend to believe in the heat that I used to give you
Though you cried over the milk that spilled I still forgive you….

Thank God I Found You...

The Candlestick

In your world
Full of darkness
Out spurt the sparks
Set myself alight
The heatwave rose
As the fire behold
My body melts
Just to beacon your life

I am the candle
I mess up my own life
I am the candle
Yeah...

The strong wind blew
Makes you feel cool
Then it whispered
'He's gonna burn u,
Gonna blind your eyes...'
Hypocrisy dishonesty
Wax has yet to form
As i burn myself

I am the candle
I mess up my own life
I am the candle
Yeah...

Blaming my heat
For the scalding in you
I was the light
That shine throughout
Tortured my mind
Lost my body and soul
The wind is going strong
You gonna fall along

I see depressions resurrected.....