The Wind Behind The Fallen Leaves

(hmm..k2...lyrical ammunition aimed @ those who deserve it...)


The wind beneath the leaves
Leaves no trace..no what-so-ever..not even a gift
Between you & me..it was all just a myth
Like the dragons in the dungeons with Hell down beneath

So who am I to blame now? Was it the wind?
Or is it the unbalanced system of Yang & Ying?
Your mystical disappearance makes you seem like Djinn!
Was it you whom i saw playing the sitar while downing that Gin?

U lied!! You capital Bee with an Itch!!
You thought it was so easy to have the Rainbow getting ditched?
It is true you think you would be safe when you get hitched
Opps!! Sorry my friends this is a technical glitch

Lord, in You i trust
Your Fate & Destiny came tumbling so fast
When its about them and me..it's not only about lust
Now they will be left biting the dust

Tuhan Tolonglah

Tuhan Tolonglah

Dimana arahnya?
Manakah lah jalannya?
Mengamun langkah pergi
Masih lagi tertanya

Apakah maknanya?
Ku rasai di dalam dada
Mendengar tiba
Membeku di dalam kegelapan malam

Tuhan tolonglah
Ku ujarkan segala yang nyata
Jalan manakah? Jalan manakah?
Yang mengejar erti nikmatnya

Ku menggigil
Dan ia memanggil
Tak bias menahan bahangannya
Tapi dalam diri yang tidak pasti
Berbicara tentangnya lagi

Masih adakah?
Mendenngar di hujung bicara
Kan menjadi nyata
Semua balar yang akan terlalu hampa

Hemorrhage (In My Hands)

(This song is by Fuel back in the late 90s...tx Din for reminding me bout this song...)

Memories are just where you laid them
Drag the waters til the depths give up their dead
What did you expect to find?
Was it something you left behind?
Don't you remember anything I said when I said

Don't fall away and leave me to myself
Don't fall away and leave love bleeding in my hands, in my hands again
And leave love bleeding in my hands, in my hands
Love lies bleeding

Oh hold me now I feel contagious
Am I the only place that you've left to go?
She cries her life is like
Some movie in black and white
Dead actors faking lines, over and over and over again she cries

And I watched as you turned away
You don't remember, but I do
You never even tried

Don't fall away and leave me to myself
Don't fall away and leave love bleeding in my hands, in my hands again
Leave love bleeding in my hands, in my hands again
Leave love bleeding in my hands, in my hands again

The Feather

(k peeps...a dedication fer 2 very2 'special ladies'...c..its not hard...i'd like to thank them fer giving me the inspiration to jot this down)

Look in the mirror my friend
When all this while it seems you are my helping hand
Then now out of my door you went
Look into my eyes; you will know what it meant
I was the beacon when you ran
When you needed someone, my soul, to you I lent
Now all that seems like yesterday, gone before I count to ten
May the Lord takes good care of you in His den
It seems to you now I am just an ant
If only you could write my plight with my pen
But I am just like a particle in the sand
May you get someone better with big grand
If only my mind and feelings can be scanned
Maybe you would be enlightened by His Zen
The bitterness in the life of an unwanted man
The chapter ends with my future hell-bent

What? What was that you told me?
You think you can open my heart with that key?
Now all it seems like camaraderie
I guess I am an irritant to you, just like a flea
I know I cannot get you, even for a fee
I will not beg for you, like going down on my knees
You treated me like a fool, climbed over me like you would on a tree
What do you want me to do, you want me to plea?
Was I even a choice when I made you my priority?
I made it seem at that point of time like filial piety
But is this what I deserve? All the crap you passed to me?
Who am I to you? Just a passer-by in your life, then you set me free?
It is the opposite, now you are with him, holding hands, with vans of paparazzi?
You gave me that look, shock in the eyes, and just buzzed off like a bee?
If that is what you want why not just be honest with me
Rather than keeping it from me, you do not know how it feels since you are not me

Purity hardly comes by like the pollens that fly by
The torch that I carry has come to a nigh
My thoughts, my feelings, you thought I did lie?
It was my fault I guess, I just cannot classify
The chaste in me that is gone made you find another guy?
The fact is my life is being burnt by the arson that was not shy
The guilt that I face is being glistened by the sun up high
The moment you did not kill me was what made me fly
My past and mistakes, from them I learn to create a ‘pie’
Whose sweetness of life cannot be found by just wondering why
I glide across the air to meet the light that makes me fly to the sky
But it brought me back to earth to make realize, it made me cry
My body shook, not knowing what was right, but I just have to try
Reality strikes me right down to my spine, forcing me to scream and never to sigh
To You my Lord I surrender my case tonight, it is Faith that I cannot buy
Thanks for the moment that served as a wake-up call for me….Good Bye

Haiz...life aint good peeps

if only she realised the strings tt were attached...y do all of ya'll take me as a highway...

I Am The Highway

Pearls and swine bereft of me
Long and weary my road has been
I was lost in the cities
Alone in the hills
No sorrow or pity for leaving I feel

I am not your rolling wheels
I am the highway
I am not your carpet ride
I am the sky

Friends and liars don't wait for me
I'll get on all by myself
I put millions of miles
Under my heels
And still too close to you
I feel

I am not your rolling wheels
I am the highway
I am not your carpet ride
I am the sky
I am not your blowing wind
I am the lightning
I am not your autumn moon
I am the night

Renungan

1. Senyum itu tanda kemesraan, diberikepada manusia dianggap sedekah. Ketawa itu lambang kelalaian. Selalu dilakukan hati akan mati. Dibuat di hadapan manusia menghilangkan maruah diri.
2. Setiap kesalahan yang dilakukan jadikanlah pengajaran, insaflah ini tanda kelemahan diri, kesalilah keterlanjuran itu dan berazamlah tidak mengulanginya lagi.
3. Syukur nikmat dan sabar di dalam ujian amat mudah diucapkan tetapi amat sulit dilaksanakan.
4. Kesenangan dan kemewahan selalunya membawa kepada kesombongan dan kelalaian. Kesusahan dan penderitaan itu, selalunya membawa kekecewaan dan putus asa, kecuali orang yang mukmin.
5. Di antara tanda-tanda orang-orang yang sombong itu cepat melahirkan sifat marah, suka memotong percakapan orang,suka bermujadalah yakni bertegang leher,nampak di mukanya rasa tidak senang jika ada orang yang lebih darinya di satu majlis, bercakap meninggikan suara,pantang ditegur, tidak ada tanda-tanda kesal di atas kesalahan.
6. Orang yang sudah hilang sifat marah(dayus), cepat melahirkan sifat marah(lemah mujahadah). Orang yang ada sifat marah tapi dapat disembunyikan kecuali di tempat-tempat yang munasabah inilah manusia normal.
7. Tahu diri kita hamba itu adalah ilmu,merasa diri kita itu hamba itu penghayatan, yang kedua inilah akan lahir sifat tawaduk, malu, khusyuk,takut, hina dan lain-lain lagi sifat kehambaan.
8. Jika kita mengingati dosa, kita tidak nampak lagi kebaikan kita, apatah lagi untuk dibanggakan.
9. Lahirkan kemesraan kita sesama manusia kerana itu adalah haknya tapi jangan putus hati kita dengan ALLAH, ini adalah hakNYA pula.
10. Apabila rasa senang dengan pujian,rasa sakit dengan kehinaan menunjukkan kita ada kepentingan peribadi, tanda kita tidak ikhlas membuat sesuatu kebaikan.

Hiatus

My long hiatus has been the period in which i was simply doing some soul-searching...why lie to others when we are plain friends...not special friends even...why try too hard when i don't even want to...why speed up and risk loosing this freindship of ours..to those relevant parties...yes that's in PLURAL...it's great to leave me alone...

Better Than Me

I think you can do much better than me
After all the lies that I made you believe
Guilt kicks in and I start to see
The edge of the bed
Where your nightgown used to be
I told myself I won't miss you
But I remembered
What it feels like beside you
I really miss your hair in my face
And the way your innocence tastes
And I think you should know this
You deserve much better than me

While looking through your old box of notes
I found those pictures I took
That you were looking for
If there's one memory I don't want to lose
That time at the mall
You and me in the dressing room
I told myself I won't miss you
But I remembered
What it feels like beside you
I really miss your hair in my face
And the way your innocence tastes
And I think you should know this
You deserve much better than me

The bed I'm lying in is getting colder
Wish I never would've said it's over
And I can't pretend... I won't think about you when I'm older
Cause we never really had our closure
This can't be the end
I really miss your hair in my face
And the way your innocence tastes
And I think you should know this
You deserve much better than me
I really miss your hair in my face
And the way your innocence tastes
And I think you should know this
You deserve much better than me
(And I think you should know this)
(You deserve much better than me)

A Change Of Seasons

(juz fer the fun of it..this piece is being posted up...i juz dun wish to see the sunset alone one day....)



[I. The Crimson Sunrise]
[II. Innocence]
I remember a time
My frail, virgin mind
Watched the crimson sunrise
Imagined what it might find
Life was filled with wonderI felt the warm wind blow
I must explore the boundaries
Transcend the depth of winter's snow

Innocence caressing me
I never felt so young before
There was so much life in me
Still I longed to search for more

But those days are gone now
Changed like a leaf on a tree
Blown away forever
Into the cool autumn breeze
The snow has now fallen
And my sun's not so bright
I struggle to hold on
With the last of my might

In my den of inequity
Viciousness and subtlety
Struggle to ease the pain
Struggle to find the same

Ignorance surrounding me
I've never been so filled with fear
All my life's been drained from me
The end is drawing near...

[III. Carpe Diem]
"Carpe diem
Seize the day"
I'll always remember
The chill of November
The news of the fall
The sounds in the hall
The clock on the wall
Ticking away
"Seize the Day"
I heard him say
Life will not always be this way
Look aroundHear the sounds
Cherish your life
While you're still around

("Gather ye rosebuds while ye may)
(Old Time is still a-flying;)
(And this same flower that smiles today)
(Tomorrow will be dying")

We can learn
From the past
But those days
Are gone
We can hope
For the future
But there might not be one

The words stuck in my mind
Alive from what I've learned
I have to seize the day
To home I returned

Preparing for her flight
I held with all my might
Fearing my deepest fright
She walked into the night
She turned for one last look
She looked me in the eye
I said, "I Love You...
Good-bye"

("It's the most awful thing you'll ever hear")
("If you're lying to me...")
("Oh, you dearly love her")
("...just have to leave...)
(All our lives")
("Seize the day!")
("Something happened")
("Gather ye rosebuds while ye may")
("She was killed")

[IV. The Darkest Of Winters]
[V. Another World]
So far or so it seems
All is lost
With nothing fulfilled
Off the pages and the
T.V. screen
Another world
Where nothing's true

Tripping through
The life fantastic
Lose a step
And never get up
Left alone
With a cold blank stare
I feel like giving up

I was blinded by a paradise
Utopia high in the sky
A dream that only drowned me
Deep in sorrow, wondering why

Oh come let us adore him
Abuse and then ignore him
No matter what
Don't let him be
Let's feed upon his misery
Then string him up for all the world to see

I'm sick of all
Your hypocrites
Holding me at bay
And I don't need
Your sympathy
To get me through the day

Seasons change and so can I
Hold on Boy
No time to cry
Untie these strings
I'm climbing down
I won't let them push me away

Oh come let us adore him
Abuse and then ignore him
No matter what
Don't let him be
Let's feed upon
His misery
Now it's time for them
To deal with me

[VI. The Inevitable Summer]
[VII. The Crimson Sunset]
I'm much wiser now
A lifetime of memories
Run though my head
They taught me how
For better or worse
Alive or deadI realize
There's no turning back
Life goes on
The offbeaten track

I sit down with my son
Set to see the Crimson Sunset
(Gather ye rosebuds while ye may)
Many years have come and gone
I've lived my life, but now must move on
(Gather ye rosebuds while ye may)
He's my only one
Now that my time has come
Now that my life is done
We look into the sun
"Seize the day
And don't you cry
Now it's time
To say good-bye
Even thoughI'll be gone
I will live on
Live on"

The Mirror

(fer that sum1 whu told me to look myself in the mirror...this is fer u...buat sape yg terasa...bagus ah...kalau tk phm2 jgk...g telan bomb sudah..haha...)

Temptation-
Why won't you leave me alone?
Lurking Every Corner, everywhere I go

Self Control-
Don't turn your back on me now
When I need you the most

Constant pressure tests my will
My will or my won't
My Self Control escapes from me still...

Hypocrite-
How could you be so cruel
and expect my faith in return?

Resistance-
Is not as hard as it seems
When you close the door

I spent so long trusting in you
I trust you forgot
Just when I thought I believed in you...

"What're you doing? What're you doing?"

It's time for me to deal
Becoming all too realliving in fear-
Why did you lie and pretend?
This has come to an end
I'll never trust you again
It's time you made your amends
Look in the mirror my friend

"That I haven't behaved as I should"
"Everything you need is around you.
The only danger is inside you."

"I thought you could control life, but it's not like that. There are
things you can't control."

Let's stare the problem right in the eye
It's plagued me from coast to coast
Racing the clock to please everyone
All but the one who matters the most

Reflections of reality
are slowly coming into view
How in the hell could you possibly forgive me?
After all the hell I put you through

It's time for me to deal
Becoming all too real
living in fear-
Why'd I betray my friend?
Lying until the end
Living life so pretend
It's time to make my amends
I'll never hurt you again

Lie

(fer all diggers up there..this song is dedicated to all those unfaithful lovers of my dearest clownz n sistaez...by Dream Theater)

Daybreak
at the bottom of lake
it's a hundred degrees I can't breathe
And I won't get out
'til I figure it out
Though I'm weak like I can't believe
So you tell me 'trust me' l can trust you
Just let me show you
But I gotta work it out in a shadow of doubt
'cause I don't know if I know you

Doing fine but don't waste my time
Tell me what it is you want to say
You sin, you win, just let me in - hurry
I've been out in the rain all day
So you tell me 'trust me' I can trust you
as far as I can throw you
And I'm trying to get out of a shadow of doubt
'cause I don't know if I know you

Don't tell me you wanted me
Don't tell me you thought of me
I won't, I swear I won't
(Did)
I'll try, I swear I'll try
(Lie)

Mother Mary quite contrary
Kiss the boys and make them wary
Things are getting just a little bit scary
It's a wonder I can still breathe

Never been much of a doubting Thomas
but nothing breaks like a broken promise
You tell me 'bout your two more coming
but once is just enough for me

I had gotten used to being a soul destroyed
She comes in apparently to fill the void
All dogs need a leash and
at least I'll forget it
And she would never hurt me though
she's never said it
But I'm not gonna ask her today
I don't wanna scare her away
Your town, I'm all alone
and I just can't stare at the phone
I wanna talk about lifelong mistakes
and you can tell your stepfather I said so

I'm Feeling So Great...haha

hei peeps..i'm back again..sori fer d couple of weeks' hiatus...haha..hospitalized lar diggers...sori2...small matter...then this webby cant be updated...due to sum technical stuffs..haha...k2...gez wat...i'm feeling way way better...as tho i hav nutg to think about at all...haha...reali2...i think i'm losing myself...i duno y i feel so upbeat over nutg...i dun evn think straight...kinda feel tt sumtg's amiss...haha...but i'v nvr bn better...btw...had a wonderful dinner wit my parents on mother's day...then went out fer a movie with nazhimah..haha...as crazy as ever...today i met a new fren whose name is lina..ok lar...she resembles the old lina so much..hmm...i do hav doubts bout tt...but its bn a pleasant start to our frenship...its bn quite sum tym since i had a new fren...fezah...werkg isit? haha...yah...faizal is getting better...ur hubby will call u up aite...trust ur crazy bro here...tts all fer now i gez...gota start a new day in ma life tmr...optimistically...As'kum

It's Been A While

And it's been awhile
Since I could hold my head up high
And it's been awhile
Since I first saw you
And it's been awhile
Since I could stand on my own two feet again
And it's been awhile
Since I could call you

And everything I can't remember
As f*cked up as it all may seem
The consequences that I've rendered
I've stretched myself beyond my means

And it's been awhile
Since I can say that I wasn't addicted
And it's been awhile
Since I can say I love myself as well
And it's been awhile
Since I've gone and f*cked things up just like I always do
And it's been awhile
But all that sh*t seems to disappear when I'm with you

And everything I can't remember
As f*cked up as it all may seem
The consequences that I've rendered
I've gone and fucked things up again

Why must I feel this way?
Just make this go away
Just one more peaceful day!

And it's been awhile
Since I could look at myself straight
And it's been awhile
Since I said I'm sorry
And it's been awhile
Since I've seen the way the candles light your face
And it's been awhile
But I can still remember just the way you taste

And everything I can't remember
As f*cked up as it all may seem to be I know it's me
I cannot blame this on my father
He did the best he could for me
And it's been awhile
Since I could hold my head up high
And it's been awhile
Since I said I'm sorry

Ya Rabbi..

God...she asked me to mirror myself...blamed me fer evrytg...has time fer other guys..til 3+am yet no time fer me...told my sis she treats me as her bf...lies..lies..lies..my fault? r u so sure? no expletives can describe a woman like u...u sure u wana change? haha..i doubt so..i reali do doubt so...pray fer u? not evn in ur wildest dreams...forgive u? skrg got guy with wealth looks and evrytg..ur dream guy...gd fer u...Karma doesnt forget...

I Am The Highway

(a song from Audioslave's 1st album that reali caught my attention the 1st time i listened to it...its about how ppl make use of others when they are in need and then dun evn care about them anymore after they achieved their resolutions)


Pearls and swine bereft of me
Long and weary my road has been
I was lost in the cities
Alone in the hills
No sorrow or pity for leaving I feel

(chorus)
I am not your rolling wheels
I am the highway
I am not your carpet ride
I am the sky

Friends and liars don't wait for me
I'll get on all by myself
I put millions of miles
Under my heels
And still too close to you
I feel

(chorus)
I am not your rolling wheels
I am the highway
I am not your carpet ride
I am the sky
I am not your blowing wind
I am the lightning
I am not your autumn moon
I am the night

Crushed Crushed Crushed

as the title suggests, tt sums it all...the start of May..and not the best of starts...Lyn is oredi married last yr...2mths aftr she left me...and this august she's gona hav a junior...Yatee is getting engaged this mth...lastly...i finally decided its all over btwn Ana and me..i cant take anymore of her lies and empty promises..its been a torrid period of time fer me...that's how bad thgs hav bn...she told Fezah she treated me as a BF...bloody liar...i'm not a highway aite

One Last Breath

(Dont ask me y i put up this song...its bn awhile since i wanted to do so...but yah...seems like thgs aint heading my way...so good luck to me...wat more can i say ryte...who noes wat i wanted has always bn wit me witout me realising it...)


Please come now I think I’m falling
I’m holding on to all I think is safe
It seems I found the road to nowhere
And I’m trying to escape
I yelled back when I heard thunder
But I’m down to one last breath
And with it let me say
Let me say

Hold me now
I’m six feet from the edge and I’m thinking
That maybe six feet
Ain’t so far down
I’m looking down now that it’s over
Reflecting on all of my mistakes
I thought I found the road to somewhere
Somewhere in His grace
I cried out heaven save me
But I’m down to one last breath
And with it let me say
Let me say

Hold me now
I’m six feet from the edge and I’m thinking
That maybe six feet
Ain’t so far down

Sad eyes follow me
But I still believe there’s something left for me
So please come stay with me
‘Cause I still believe there’s something left for you and me
For you and me
For you and me

Hold me now
I’m six feet from the edge and I’m thinking

Erk?

she said she missed me...but when i sms her asking her not to repeat what she did b4...it was on the silent...it fell on deaf ears...y...y must thgs turn out tt way...all i wanted was to iron thgs out...

Wat was dat again?

she asked me with total conviction...'did i hurt u?'...haiz...then wen she realised...it seems she isnt repentant at all...i noe she's keeping back her werds last nite..haiz...y doesnt she change fer d better? does she wan to be dat way her whole life?

I'm lost...confused...AAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

yesterday she said...the guy in the pic was her cuzzy fren...but seems kinda stuck wen i asked if he was her fren...asked how cum suddenly she became single...she blabbered and said she'll call back later..she did...a full 2hrs later...but only talked fer 10mins..duno y she called so late..yet she put it down so quickly...said she deleted her bloggy...then this mrng just msgd me saying she's going jb..till now d wolrd is so silent..duno lar...

Wah..Superb

this week alone..she hung up on me twice...broke another promise also..then changed her bloggy so that i cant find it...ok best...all the worst to u...i'm saying this frm d bottom of my heart...i reali wonder y i waste so much time heart mind and money on sum1 whu doesnt deserve anytg at all...ROT IN HELL...y shld i ever forgive u...i can't believe it ur the 1st person i can never ever forgive unless a miracle happens...Demi Allah..hanya Dia saja yg tahu ape yg telah kau lakukan padaku...semoga kau mendapat balasan dari Dia dgn tiada lebih tiada kurang...u treated me like a DOG...anjing pon org jaga baik2...u played with my feelings, heart and mind...menyesal aku terima masa lalu kau...it sux to the core...took advantage of me...step over my head...aku bkn tmpt kau puaskn nafsu...pernah tk ape yg aku ckp aku nk buat aku tul2 buat pat kau...aku elak lagi ada...so who's dat guy in dat pic...so amin is ur new fren now...ok...if dats wat u want u got it...Shld have just let Sis Fezah beat u up the other day...tk pernah aku hilang sabar cmni...Demi Allah...what goes around comes around...kau akn dapat BALASAN Nya satu hari nnt..1 fine day u will...cos i dun think i hav to forgive u...y shld i seh...if u can break ur promises...i shld just return u d favour ryt? haha...Burn...Burn In Hell

Rahmatan Lil 'Alamin

hmm...time2 tgh sambut maulid ni...semangat giler aku g maulid...baca selawat ramai2...Thola'al Badru ramai...berdiri bulu roma...1st aku g pat expo...ustaz yg aku tuntut ilmu tu yg adakan pat expo...dkt 20 000 org ada...kecoh giler..bnyk chickadees...hahha...aku g dgn rezal, shahril n kwn dia...jmp Noryhaini pat sana...anjat jap..dah lama tk jmp..hehe...1st skali nasyid performance...penceramah ramai...Ustz Dr Ahmad Dahri, Ustz Dtk Ismail Kamus, Kiayi Kassim, Ustz Fahrurrazi...and last skali Kiayi AA Gym...aka Abdullah Gymnastiar...power...last week sunday g dgn Bpk n Shahril pat Mujahidin...dah lama tk turun sana...Pak Habib Ahmad dari indon..dia nye doa n ceramah..blh nangis..

A New Dawn Beckons

Hei peeps...its been moe den a wk since i last updated here....last wk i solded her so badly...haha...she put down d fone n off it again...haha..now thgs seems better..she's started holding ma hands again...being mushy all over again...tho i cant expect much moe frm her...wat moe can i say ryte...she aint my wife...cant force her to make me happy...but i can see she's changing bit by bit..its a gd sign..tx Dear

Asal Ana?

Ana...asal buat ary gni...hp off lagi...msg tk reply...asal buat ary worried giler...sob2...ana...jgn menyesal kalau sesuatu berlaku pat ary..ampunkn ary

It Hurts So much

u still wear his ring...u deleted our pic..u deleted my testis fer u...u noe how hurting it has been? y promise so much yet hurt so much?...y muz u lie to me....y y y...u hurt me reali...to the max of my conundrum...may Allah forgive u...so y care...muz u hurt me so much..do u noe that u hav successfully been the 1st person to hurt me to the max...nak baik2...but ur doing dis...then today u wana mit nizam...bila i met fezah in a group outing ur jealous...wats dis...do u noe how i feel...hav u ever tot about how i feel?

hmm..haiz

gaduh lagi dgn dia smlm...smp dia off hp..haha...suka nya...aku kalau kene marah dgn dia tk pernah buat gitu seh...sakit jiwa jap smlm siang...haha...nasib baik aku tau cari dia...kalau aku diamkn diri jgk..tkke prb tu...hehe...Alhamdulillah things hav been better...pandai2 lar jaga diri kan..hehe..cian si fezah tu...nenek dia tu...mcm2 ah...cian kakak aku tu..hehe...boring...penat...ngantok giler ni seh...haha...

Declining

it seems she's making me feel more hurt...deleting our pic even...tx eh...tx fer evrytg...it seems lyk d lies are beginnning to be spider webs...ahhhh...yesterday went to watch movie with fezah, tasha n rezal...tu pon dia jeles...mepek kan...fezah pon naik darah dgn dia...padahal aku dgn fezah..smp our parents pon tau kita rapat seh...evn her siblings tau seh...tasha pon sort seh mcm aku jgk..haha...rezal...b kewl aite...we stay tite together..now she's telling me her net went off n cldnt put our pic..y delete in the 1st place...haizzz

y muz it b me

Ana...u were hurt by wat u heard...n now..after saying all tt..aint u hurting me too...told me to call u up..yet no answers at all...wat do u think i am...a combustion of feelings?

Hmm

i duno wats wrong..i tot we broke up..but she still msgs n call me up...saying she wans me to wait fer her...AAAAAAAARGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It's Not Over!!!

What Hurts the Most

(yeah...a song by Rascal Flatts...singing in ma heart...blah)

I can take the rain
On the roof of this empty house
That don’t bother me
I can take a few tears now and then
And I just let ‘em out
I’m not afraid to cry every once in a while
Even though goin’ on with you gone still upsets me
There are days every now and again
I pretend I’m okay
But that’s not what gets me

Chorus
What hurts the most
Was being so close
And havin’ so much to say
And watchin’ you walk away
And never knowin’
What could’ve been
And not seein’ that lovin’ you
Is what I was tryin’ to do

It’s hard to deal with the pain
Of losin’ you everywhere I go
But I’m doin’ itIt’s hard to force that smile
When I see our old friends and I’m alone
Still harder gettin’ up, gettin’ dressed, livin’ with this regret
But I know if I could do it overI would trade, give away
All the words that I saved in my heart
That I left unspoken

Not seein’ that lovin’ you
That’s what I was trying to do
Oooo, Oooo, Oooo –

Compassions

yeah...we broke up yesterday morning..citing reasons such as not wanting to hurt me further...not wanting to break any more promises...so...wher was ur promise of not gona ask fer a break up? now u wan me to stay faithful and wait fer u...i will...no matter wat others say...i leave the rest to God

The Truth

her parents do not wan us to be attached....sad kan...juz bcos she's doing part time studies..i intend to stay faithful to her...juz waiting fer her answer...the wait is killing me seh...but wat to do...each challenge by God has rewards...its like finding the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow...It's Not Over!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My Writes

Life is a waterfall
We keep on flowing
Reached the edge and fall
Pride taken, I'm fumbling

Crumbling as i crash
Not knowing what's next
Memories rushed in a flash
My life written in text

Where am i Dear Lord?
What's this place i'm in?
Who's that love my God?
I've never seen this scene

Why did the Gates closed?
What's this sinking feeling?
My deeds i never boast
Humility i still succumb in

Lord numero uno
My destiny seems dark
She's on the go?
Along with my luck?

Hurt is my company
As i ride along the line
Things seem so corny
Where's the love that binds?

Being alive is a mistake?
Drops of soul dripping away
Why love's just half-baked?
Reminiscent times play

Now she really leaves
Pray for her i will
Cos when she sees the clift
She knows our love is sealed

It's Not Over

(Okay...the 1st of many to come...not my own writing peeps...but it sure fits the bill...It's Not Over by DAUGHTRY)



I was blown away.
What could I say?
It all seemed to make sense.
You've taken away everything,
And I can't deal with that.
I try to see the good in life,
But good things in life are hard to find.
I’ll blow it away, blow it away.
Can we make this something good?
Well, I'll try to do it right this time around.

Let's start over.
I'll try to do it right this time around.
It's not over.
’Cause a part of me is dead and in the ground.
This love is killing me,
But you're the only one.
It's not over.

I've taken all I can take,
And I cannot wait.
We're wasting too much time
Being strong and holding on.
Can't let it bring us down.
My life with you means everything,
So I won't give up that easily.
I’ll blow it away, blow it away.
Can we make this something good?
'Cause it's all misunderstood.
Well, I'll try to do it right this time around.

Let's start over.
I'll try to do it right this time around.
It's not over.
’Cause a part of me is dead and in the ground.
This love is killing me,
But you're the only one.
It's not over.

We can't let this get away.
Let it out, let it out.
Don't get caught up in yourself.
Let it out.

Let's start over.
I'll try to do it right this time around.
It's not over.
’Cause a part of me is dead and in the ground.
This love is killing me,
But you're the only one.
It's not over.

Let’s start over.
It's not over, yeah...
This love is killing me,
But you're the only one.
It's not over.

Was she?

Hei diggers...
met her in the morning...she cried...only told me her mum wanted me to be deleted from her blog...but y sei...when the stories bout her & wan....khai...nizam...farhan...and many others are still on her blog...was she telling the truth....or was she lying? sum1 used to tell me...ladies use tears and parents as their shield for their lies...if she reali did lie to me...doesnt she noe how much it hurts? i tot she oredi knew d meaning of hurt when she was hurt by others in d past...so y do it to me now...y do women use a lie to cover another lie...y so...she wans her dream guy whom she cant b with...so why still stay with me...what am i? a part time lover? highway? why must she insist on calling us by the names which we oredi agreed b4 not to use...seriously...i'm getting very2 sick....whenever i have too much prbs..i get sick...oredi peeps at werk aint got no liking fer me...Lord...i reali need an istikharah...so much fer all the promises...so much fer the phrase 'no secretes between us'...sum1 told me b4...if we luv tt particular sum1 deeply...we will noe by God's Grace whether that person is lying or telling the truth...should i 4giv all the liars that i'v been with b4? shld i then forgive them wholeheartedly?

i noe i shld...Dear Lord...pls shed sum Light on them...i pray that 1 day they'll end up as wonderful ladies and have wonderful families...dun let wat has happened to me ever happen to them...

Dear Lord

Dear Lord,
i guess i've sinned enuf & i'm now getting the repercussions....
she met sum1 whom she seems so excited about last nite at big mac...she didnt evn telll me she went there......

then today she said..
'In Life we can't get everything in our life....i knew it n i realise it!We saw things that nice....we wanted to buy....when we saw our dream guys....we wanted to be with them,just that we dunno that person like us or not.Argh!!Sometimes it hurts....what to do??No one can help.Love is blind....When we noe that what we goin to do is wrong but still we wanted to do...thats the prob part.Life.....'

she deleted all the lovey dovey parts from her blog that included me...gez i'm not worth anytg to her...y lie...y all d hurt hate n revenge on me...y are all of them doin dis to me...

behold the truth...i wrote The Candle juz as i did The Candlestick...same plot diff character..whoa it scalds me badly Dear Lord..to frenz...sistaez n clownz..do appreciate wat we hav...coz sumtimes we only realise the gems when they r gone...muacksss

The Candle

Destiny & Fate – Sometimes we laugh sometimes we mourn
We tend to appreciate things only when they’re gone
I melt myself away just to be a beacon to your life
The wind did make you think if I’d burn you, didn’t it strive?

What's Happening!!!
What's Happening!!!
What's Happening!!!
What's Happening!!!

So, deep in your heart you prayed he’ll blow my friend
Your wish was his command and off my fire went
The darkness forces fear to creep deep into your mind
Was I ever that everything that u needed? Aren’t you kind?

What's Happening!!!
What's Happening!!!
What's Happening!!!
What's Happening!!!

I had to seek solace from my dearest fire starters
Slowly u begin to realize how much the frostbites has gotten you into tatters
You tend to believe in the heat that I used to give you
Though you cried over the milk that spilled I still forgive you….

Thank God I Found You...

The Candlestick

In your world
Full of darkness
Out spurt the sparks
Set myself alight
The heatwave rose
As the fire behold
My body melts
Just to beacon your life

I am the candle
I mess up my own life
I am the candle
Yeah...

The strong wind blew
Makes you feel cool
Then it whispered
'He's gonna burn u,
Gonna blind your eyes...'
Hypocrisy dishonesty
Wax has yet to form
As i burn myself

I am the candle
I mess up my own life
I am the candle
Yeah...

Blaming my heat
For the scalding in you
I was the light
That shine throughout
Tortured my mind
Lost my body and soul
The wind is going strong
You gonna fall along

I see depressions resurrected.....